I had a return I needed to make at The Home Depot so I headed over after I picked up the kids from school. As we got out of the car at Home Depot, my daughter asked, “What does THD stand for?”

I said, “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe ‘The Hungry Dog’?”

She said, “No, it’s The Home Depot”.


Watermelon Store

So…I’m driving my kids to karate and my daughter looks out of the window, sees a strip mall with the sign “Watermart”, but she thought it  said “Watermelon”. She’s like “They have a watermelon store?! They must sell big watermelons, small ones, and yellow ones!”. Then my son chimes in and says “They probably sell watermelon dolls and a watermelon shaped car!”

I said “It says Water Mart”.

I gotta have a Lo Mein!

…he’s a public fornicator!

This episode starts in a scene in a video store; I kind of miss the idea of renting VHS tapes.

Anyways, its first revealed that Elaine and Jerry used to date. She invites Jerry to a dinner with friends, and he starts hitting on one of Elaine’s friends. He feels like Elaine is cock-blocking, AND she leaves with a dude that SEEMS to be her bf. And he didn’t get her name or digits!

…next scene: Jerry’s parents are in his apartment and his dad is DIFFERENT! So, his dad suggests Jerry go and stalk the chick. And he does it…of course with his wingman, George (who btw seems to have even LESS hair than Episode 1), who lies about his occupation….an architect. And for some random reason, they lie about having lunch with a friend, Art Vandelay.

George is the worst and best.

Seinfeld – First Episode!

I don’t remember the first episode of Seinfeld; so it feels like I’m watching a show that I dreamt of and it’s nothing like reality.

The nice thing is the music is nearly unchanged from day one – bom bom bom bom bom bu bu bom bom.

And it was shocking to see George with SOME hair. His hair was def. on the way to a permanent vacation.

Seinfeld, Season 1, Episode 1: Jerry met a chick Laura after a show in Michigan. Some time later, she calls him up and tells him she’s visiting NYC, and she needs a place to stay, so he goes and picks her up at the airport and invites her to stay over…on a mattress borrowed from Kramer.

Jerry thinks she’s sleeping over to hook up, only to find out that she has a fiancé. Sad Jerry ☹️

Men are honking our horns to serve you better!

– Jerry Seinfeld

Driving around Tucson, Arizona

Installing GoDaddy SSL Certificates on Media Temple DV Plesk

Eat.Sleep.Work. has been a GoDaddy customer since…who knows, like 12 years now. Coincidentally, we’ve been hosting with Media Temple since 2007; and recently GoDaddy has acquired the Culver City based hosting company.

I just installed a SSL certificate for a client of ours and had a bit of trouble finding the right documentation to install it from GoDaddy into our Media Temple VPS’ Plesk control panel. It took some digging: An hour of my time, 3 or 4 Google searches later and 5 or 6 tabs open in Google Chrome. This should have taken 15 min.

Purchase the SSL Certificate

So…started at and clicked on Web Security, then SSL Certificate. I purchased the ‘Protect One Website’ option. After adding it to my cart, I decided to go ‘balls out’ and purchase the holy grail of SSL Certificates, the Premium SSL EV. Cue the Ooos and Ahhs.

After going through the checkout process, I get this page:


Exciting right? Clicking on this button takes me to:


Note: I got a little freaked out after I made my purchase and this SSL Certificate section was blank. Give it a couple minutes and it’ll auto-refresh. Also, you’ll see that I have 2 SSL Certificates. That’s because I bought the Premium SSL and the Standard SSL comes included.

Get the CSR

Click on Manage and you’ll see the Certificate Setup page:


It’s time to head over to your Plesk control panel now. I’ve already got my website hosted at Media Temple so I don’t need to set anything up. If you have a new domain you’re setting up, go to the Account Center and add your domain. And that domain is required to be added in Plesk also. This pertains to the DV accounts. It’s probably a little different for Grid.

Assuming your website is already set up and you have a functional website hosted in your DV hosting account. Go to your website’s hosting control panel in Plesk. You should be on a page that looks like this:


Click on Show More; then click on Secure Your Sites.

You’re taken to the SSL Certificates page. Click on ‘Add SSL Certificate‘.


Fill out the form with your company info and click on ‘Request’.add-ssl-plesk-csr

Now you’re shot back to the page you were just at. You’ll see C and A are greyed out. That’s OK for now. You’ll need to send over your CSR, which is basically a verification that this is the domain you want the SSL applied.


You’ll take the CSR back to GoDaddy to connect your request. Click on the name of the account and on the next page, scroll down a bit until you see CSR. Copy (Ctrl+C) from and to:

blah blah blah
blah blah blah

Go back to the GoDaddy Certificate Setup page and paste (Ctrl+V) into the textarea box and click on Next. Just as insurance, if you’re not the main contact on for the SSL certificate, you’re gonna want to set up an email address that you can access like or; whichever works.


Screenshot 2016-02-04 14.37.34

After pasting the CSR, click on Submit. If you got the Premium, you’re going to need to fill in more company info. Click on Finished.

Screenshot 2016-02-04 14.37.56

Now we wait until the status has been verified.

Installing the SSL Certificate

From here, I followed the instructions from Media Temple Community. I’ll jot down my exact process so you don’t have to jump back and forth from tabs. And if you find the article on GoDaddy’s website titled: INSTALLING AN SSL CERTIFICATE IN PARALLELS PLESK PANEL – avoid it. It’s more confusing after reading it.

If you’ve ordered the Premium version, verification takes much longer than setting up the Standard version. The Premium version requires you to send GoDaddy business information to verify that your business is legit and for reals. The total time to get that done is somewhere in the 2-3 week zone.

Once you get an email from GoDaddy verifying you, click on the link and you’ll get shot over to this page:

Screenshot 2016-02-05 15.29.55

I’m on Apache; you can choose whichever your website is hosted on. Select the Server type and download the zip. You’ll have 2 files in the zip file. One is the Certificate and the other is the CA Certificate. The one named ‘gd_bundle-g2-g1.crt‘ is the CA Certificate.

You have two options. Upload the files to Plesk or open them up in TextEdit or Notepad and paste them into the textarea boxes. Whichever works just fine.

Screenshot 2016-02-05 15.35.12

Send those files over into Plesk and you have just 2 more steps!

Go back to ‘Website & Domains‘ and click on ‘Hosting Settings‘.


Check the box for ‘SSL support‘ and select from the drop-down menu the SSL Certificate you just added.


Scroll down a bit and click on OK.

Screenshot 2016-02-05 15.49.55Last and final step, restart Plesk. It can be found on the left sidebar under ‘Server Management‘, then ‘Tools and Settings‘. Find the link ‘Restart Server‘. Click it and voila! Look at the beautiful glowing green lock!

If you continue to have issues with getting the Green Lock to display; either it looks like https or the https is greyed out, head over to Why No Padlock and debug your site for any calls to a http object or something.

Additional Reading

  1. How To Protect your Server Against the POODLE SSLv3 Vulnerability

  2. SSL v3 goes to the dogs – POODLE kills off protocol


Downtown Tucson, Arizona

Hey dudes. I’m documenting my first month in Tucson here cuz I know you’re all curious what I’ve been up to and REALLY REALLY miss me! Even though Chrissie and Chimmy are the only ones who will read this.

This is Jan. 7th BTW. After a few days working from home, the temptation of the all-addictive Netflix was too overwhelming, I headed south to downtown Tucson to work at Connect Coworking on 5th Av. I’ve been to the Hotel Congress at night once for drinks, so this was my first trip to downtown during the day.

This hotel is pretty much the heart of downtown Tucson, AZ - and probably the oldest building next to the Rialto Theatre.

This hotel is pretty much the heart of downtown Tucson, AZ – and probably the oldest building next to the Rialto Theatre.

Just down the street from the hotel on Congress is a handful of cool shops like HUB Ice Cream door, there's a Undefeated-like "hip hop" sneaker shop opening up called Rival Sneakers.

Just down the street from the hotel on Congress is a handful of cool shops like HUB Ice Cream Factory…next door, there’s a Undefeated-like “hip hop” sneaker shop opening up called Rival Sneakers.

View down Congress St. in front of HUB Ice Cream Factory

View down Congress St. in front of HUB Ice Cream Factory

Here's the Rialto Theatre - directly across the street from Hotel Congress. Famous for Marilyn Manson performing with his back turned to the audience.

Here’s the Rialto Theatre – directly across the street from Hotel Congress. Famous for Marilyn Manson performing with his back turned to the audience. Turns out the crowd was heckling him, blarg.

View down Toole and Congress

View down Toole and Congress. I think that building down there is Maynard’s Market and the Amtrak Station.

...uh. I think this is the side of Hotel Congress.

…Maynard’s is just adjacent to Hotel Congress.

And there's this bar that I haven't checked out in an alley next to the Rialto Theatre.

And there’s this bar that I haven’t checked out in an alley next to the Rialto Theatre.

Around 4pm, I headed out….and it started to rain. Hard.


Heading out, you’ll catch some pretty gnarly murals.

As I’m leaving downtown, I need to exit via this crazy tunnel that dips down like 15 ft. I think this dip is made to avoid flooding on the streets due to the intense monsoon season that comes around during the summers.




4-wheel drive action!


I need to know who painted this.


Out of downtown and back onto Oracle, which is highway 77, I catch a glimpse of a snow plow…which by the way, when I was behind it, it left a baby crack on my windshield! Grr.

And check out these next few pics. Snow in Tucson?!?! Is this a thing?

This is pretty much where the house is - shot at the corner of Oracle and Ina Rd.

This is pretty much where the house is – shot at the corner of Oracle and Ina Rd.





XXX-Files Round 2

I was just starting my sophomore year at Granada Hills High School when the X-Files debuted in 1993. All I remember is kids going shit-nuts over it – and I’m sure part of it was the week by week anticipation b/c we didn’t have DVRs or Netflix back-in-the-day; we did have VCRs but that doesn’t help gettin’ ur fix right quick. So, I guess Netflix just released the entire series for streams; just looked it up on Wiki and it was last April. Just noticed it like 2 weeks ago. 
Then like today, apparently I’m not privy to the latest news but now they’re gonna come out with a new season on FOX?! Whaaaaaaaa?! 


Does Dana Scully look different somehow? Or no? Eh…. Plastic surgery? No, right?

Regardless, I’m gonna watch it anyways cuz I love that crazy, demented bastard and the ginger bitch. 

I just finished S1, E6 ‘Shadows’ which is like the ‘Shadows’ from the comic ‘Amulet’ (If you know that refer eve, you’re a fucking dork like me). 

Let’s get crackalackin’ on S1, S7 ‘Ghost in the Machine’.

Brad: You’re killing my company!! 

Brad is some techie who founded this company and  he’s arguing with some other dude who’s the CEO who just announced he’s pulling the funding for R and D. Then, like, 5 seconds after the argument, and 6 seconds after Brad goes “I’ll kill you”, the CEO dude has a freak accident in the bathroom getting electrocuted by the sink water. Derrrrr. So they call Mulder and Scull-dog to solve the case! 

Fuck! Look at the laptop! Beep boop!  
Mulder: But your machine killed Drake.  

Today’s pairing is NOT WHISKY. It’s a Corona. 

And I regret that immediately and I’ll pause and pour myself a shot of Tin Cup American Whiskey from Colorado. And I don’t have any chips in the house currently. Fart.  

F@%k you cracker

Chang is the fucking best! So bizarre!!!

She’s smuggling peas out of the cafeteria!

And quick side note: Seriously, not even kidding; is this Ellen or Lori Petty? You know, that pitcher or somethin’ from the League of something? You know the one with Geena Davis? I’m just to lazy/distracted to look it up.

2 minutes later: confirmed! It’s def. not Ellen. So the movie was ‘League of Their Own’ and she was like Geena Davis’ sister in the movie. But even better, Lori Petty was fucking Tank Girl!

And on the side of the side note: Okay, so now I’m seeing a pattern here. So the formula here on ‘Orange is the New Black’ is:

  1. Pick any random character
  2. Then make up a backstory
  3. And sprinkle that backstory storyline as snippets throughout the present day story

Nailed it.

…and when does Ruby Rose show up? Oh snap. And the Aussie’s first appearance appears @10:51

hi, i’m not lori petty